Two Years

Two years ago we would go to bed not knowing the storm that was coming. Two years ago we ate chocolate pie & stayed up way too late snuggling on the couch enjoying spending time together. If I would have known it was my last time hearing Aspen giggle, our last snuggle, last hug goodnight, and last “love ya mama” I wouldn’t have never closed my eyes or let go.

The last two years have flown by, but at times, also stood still. My heart aches and my body still feels the impact of that morning and the days following. I have heard that the 2nd year is the hardest. I really didn’t think that could be true. The first year felt like hell. However, this last year, the fog has lifted and feelings have been felt deeply. The reality that we aren’t living in a bad dream and that this is our reality has been harder than living in the fog.

I miss everything about my sweet girl. I miss seeing her celebrating her siblings, I miss knowing how she would have been the most amazing aunt. I miss our late night talks. I miss her huge hugs and I even miss her sass when she didn’t agree with me. I miss seeing what she would be doing or the future that she would be walking into.

A verse that I cling to is Isaiah 61:3

-and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of joy instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor.

Two years of hard, of ashes, mourning & despair, BUT the Lord promises the He will bestow a crown of beauty instead of ashes, joy instead of mourning and praise instead of despair. I also love the last line of this verse..they will be called oak of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

He is doing just as He promised. God is bringing beauty from the ashes. He is using Aspen’s life, our lives, our story to draw hearts to Him. The driver, Brendon and his wife gave their hearts to the Lord just a month after the crash. This has been, and will always be one of the most amazing, miraculous events to come from this loss. Day one, we prayed for God to move in Brendon’s life (before we knew his name or anything about him, all we knew is that he was in a dark place and he needed Jesus). He is exceeding our prayers and it is so humbling to be able to watch. Other people have messaged me letting me know they either accepted Christ or turned their hearts back to Him after watching our journey. Generations are changed forever!

He continues to bring more joy back into our lives. We find ourselves laughing more, celebrating the small things & being more intentional with our relationships.

We continue to praise…even on the hard days, especially on the hard days, because praise knocks satan back. It shows him that no matter what, OUR LORD, has already won this battle and he doesn’t get to steal anything else from us. Praise leads us to victory over our enemies
(2 Chronicles 20:21-22), it breaks down walls (Acts 16:25-26, Joshua 6:20), it causes confusion for the enemy (Judges 7:18-22), it drives away evil spirits (1 Samuel 16:23), and it is a proclamation of God’s victory (Psalm 95:1-2).

The Lord calls us Oaks of Righteousness. He planted us to display His splendor. Righteousness means, “being in a right relationship with God and others, characterized by doing what is just, good and in alignment with God’s character, involving both a right standing with God (through faith in Christ), and right actions towards others, (like justice, mercy & honesty). I have spent two years watching my kids grow in their faith. I have seen how student's come up and share really hard situations with them and how they don’t judge, they encourage and speak life over these kids. An oak trees roots spread out wider than they do deep. I see the fruit of teaching my kids to spread and deepen their faith. Every time we do, the Lord’s splendor is on display.

Aspen is still a part of this story, she just has a much better vantage point! So much of Heaven is a mystery to me, but I love to think that she is getting to see each life changed. We know far more lives have been changed than what we have seen! She is getting to celebrate with all of the angels and saints each time a heart turns to Jesus.

God is not done writing HIS story in our lives. While my heart will always ache to see Aspen again, this life is just a vapor. One day soon, we will be linking arms once again, but for eternity.

If you don’t have this same peace, this same hope, don’t wait until tomorrow. We are not promised our next breath. Give your heart to Jesus. I promise there is nothing in your past that will keep Him from embracing you with open arms. He sent HIS son to die a sinners death on the cross so that YOU can live a life forever in Heaven. If you are unsure of what to do please reach out to me. I would love nothing more than to walk you through this first step.

I pray that you all hug your kids and family a little tighter tonight, that you tell them you love them and are proud of them. Tomorrow, I would love for you to look around your world, see things with a new perspective & ask the Lord to show you a glimpse of His majesty, His goodness.

Thank you all for being on this journey with us. For holding us up, praying for us, supporting us, and remembering Aspen with us. Please continue to pray for us over the next week. Her birthday is Sunday, so it’s a long week of emotions.

We would also love for you to join us at our fundraiser on April 10th in Abilene. I promise it will be worth your time to come.

Ticket sales end March 27th. Click HERE for details.