Why?

The last week and half has been a whole new level of hard. I’ve been missing my girl on a new level. The reality of not seeing her again, texting her, hugging her neck or letting her know how much I love her just really sucks. We’ve also had conversations with the troopers and lawyer that bring up new emotions to process.

Honestly, I’ve been at the state of asking God, Why. Why did this have to happen, why us-why are we the ones that have to walk this road, why did the other driver survive. It’s just not fair. We don’t feel strong enough to walk through this. I don’t want to walk through this.

I’ve been encouraged to sit in these feelings and to keep sharing. In some of the lowest, hardest moments of the past week God continues to show up. From getting texts and FB messages from people at just the right time, to sweet cards in the mail, to running into a college classmate that encouraged me that God is using our story in ways we don’t see. Even when I am questioning, God is still good and still moving.

Everyone keeps saying how strong we are. I promise, we aren’t that strong. Not on our own anyway. Inside we are broken and struggling, each breath and beat of our heart hurts. It’s only through our faith in God that we are still standing, and through the prayer and support from all of you. Thank you for everything.

This journey is hard. Excruciatingly hard. BUT GOD. He is doing big things and we will continue to trust, even when we don’t feel like it.