The details
This post is very long and emotional.
We haven’t said much about Aspen’s accident. We have learned a lot over the last 5 weeks but wanted to wait until we had all of the official information.
Aspen left our house at 3:53 am that Sunday morning to go hang out with friends. She text me that she was leaving and I really didn’t think much of it. College age kids hang out at odd times, I know we did at that age. The accident happened at 4:09 am. At a little after 7am we woke up to the State Troopers knocking on our door and I knew before they said anything that it was about Aspen. They were so kind and steadfast through it all and have continued to walk with us and really go above and beyond in taking care of us. (Here is an encouragement to pray harder for first responders. Their job is extremely hard!) It really was like a scene out of a movie. The sounds that came out of me were sounds of the deepest agony and heartbreak. I now know what wailing is. One of the troopers caught me from hitting the floor as I went straight to my knees. After walking us inside they asked a few questions and answered the few questions that we could manage to think of. Tabitha woke up to see them sitting in our living room. They were so patient while we told her what happened and held her for a bit. We then made the hardest phone calls I’ve ever had to make to our parents, Harrison and to our best friends. Time seemed to stand still as we woke the other kids up to tell them what happened. Our home was soon full of people loving us, cleaning up, organizing meals, and so much more.
Over the next few days we were poured into non stop, gently guided on planning services, held as we broke, given space to say things and process our world that had been turned upside down.
We were originally told we didn’t need to see Aspen due to her injuries. I wasn’t ok with that, but trusted the first responders and the protection they were giving. But God! Elmwood called in a man from Louisiana (who helped with the Uvalde shooting) that drove non stop to get here to help get her to where we could say goodbye. He and the team at Elmwood worked so hard to give this gift to us. While she didn’t look like herself they did an amazing job. It’s amazing how your body really is just a shell without your spirit and soul. We are forever thankful for that moment we were gifted to say goodbye.
The following weeks were a blur of emotions and thoughts. We’ve struggled with brain fog. Honestly we are still struggling in areas. Simple tasks take so much effort. It’s crazy how in trauma when your body goes into fight or flight mode, your body is designed to protect itself and your brain goes into survival mode. Life continues on and we are trying to find some sort of normal in a world that will never be normal again.
So much has happened. So many God stories that I’m sure we will share in time. Things that are possibly in the works that only HE can do or arrange. Sweet tangible things that He continues to do to show us that He is still good, and that His plan for all of us in this journey is beyond what we can even fathom.
So many have asked about details, not really realizing what actually happened. Please ask questions. We are ok with that!
Aspen was traveling back to Abilene and was hit head on by a drunk driver. This guy was on the wrong side of I20. He did not cross the median. If you drive I20 you will see that there are no easy places to get onto the wrong side of the highway. We believe we know where he was and how he got onto I20 and are happy to share that info privately if you want to know. He traveled about 5.5 miles going the wrong direction before he hit Aspen. We do know that it was instant for her and we are so thankful for that. He was transported to the hospital and got out a week and a half later or so. 911 had been called several times and the local PD was trying to get out there to stop him. God placed people on the scene to take care of our girl when we couldn’t. From the two troopers, the amazing men at Clyde VFD who got her out of the car, other first responders, people who were behind her in the accident, and others who we haven’t had the chance to meet yet, He was there that morning. The Lord is always there, even in the tragic times.
This week we have received toxicology reports and charges. He had a BAC of .273 about an hour after the crash. That is almost 3.5 times the legal limit. He is being charged with Intoxication Manslaughter and warrants have been issued for his arrest. Justice is in motion and while we know this isn’t a quick journey we are thankful for each bit of info and each step towards that. We don’t want revenge. There is no consequence for him that would bring our girl back or stop our hearts from breaking. We do believe in justice and consequences. We pray that this is an opportunity for him to change his life and find true forgiveness, freedom and maybe one day, he can use his story to stop others from going down the same path.
We are still in the midst of all of the feelings. Are we angry? Without a doubt. We are angry that his choices impacted our lives, angry that we live in a fallen world full of sin, we are angry that we have to watch our other kids fight for their faith. But even in this as we all fight for our faith our relationship with God and each other continues to grow stronger. We also cycle through all of the other emotions from sadness to Joy, from guilt to trust. We daily have to set these feelings down at the feet of Jesus. We have to lay everything down and trust that His word is true; that He is good and that He wins! It’s only by leaning on His word that we can keep stepping forward. We have decided to choose Joy in the midst of it all. We choose to focus on Jesus, to step when He says step and to continue to speak of His goodness.
If you made it to the end of this, please know we couldn’t do this without you. Each thing, no matter how small it may seem can make the difference in our day. Also, please don’t stop asking questions, or telling us what God is doing through all of this. We want to walk this journey out with transparency and hope.