20 Months

From the rising of the sun to it’s setting, the name of the LORD is to be praised! Psalm 113:3

20 months…almost 2 years. My mind knows it has been that long, but my heart still aches as though it was yesterday. Time has flown by and stood still. Joy and sorry still weave together like crashing waves. My heart is still completely broken, but also healing and expectant as The Lord continues to move. I feel the constant tug-of-war in my heart and mind. It’s a war between good & evil, truth & lies, anger & forgiveness, staying stuck & pressing forward. There are nights that I still can’t sleep, that fear overtakes my thoughts. Days that I don’t want to get out of bed, parent, or even breathe. I am thankful that the really hard days come a little less often and their sting has softened a little. I miss Aspen with every breath that I take, but The Lord has been so kind to show us that we aren’t alone in this journey and that He is moving mountains. We all have choices in life, everyday. I have to daily choose the good, truth, forgiveness, & pressing forward. I have to choose to trust God in what feels like the valley of the shadow of death. In the midst of the storm of life, whatever may come, I choose joy. Satan had a plan for our family and he failed. He lost because in the end, we serve a KING who sits on the throne and can not be shaken. He lost because hearts have turned to Jesus and we know that more will do the same. If you are in a battle, I want to encourage you. Choose freedom, choose joy, choose to worship the KING who will reign forever. I know sometimes the trials feel like they last a lifetime, that you can’t see the light in the midst of the darkness, just hold on. Hold on to the hem of His garment. Worship Him in the darkness, speak truth over and over until you believe it. Then, sit back, and watch Him move.